Have you ever felt a sense of detachment from your true self? A feeling that you don't recognise the person you've become? Have you ever wondered, "Who am I, really?" "What makes me, me?, “How did I get here?"
It’s easy to lose sight of ourselves.
In our fast-paced, busy world, it's easy to lose sight of who we truly are. We wear more hats than we can count, juggle responsibilities and commitments, and feel pulled in all directions. Many people, tasks, and projects vie for our time and attention, leaving little room for reflection and self-discovery.
Yet the process of self reflection is incredibly important. Only when we look inwards, can we uncover who we truly are; without it, we're simply taking an educated guess about what we want and what we need at work and in life.
Insane, right?
Despite its importance, many people avoid self reflection. Consider Emily, for example. She’s a high-achieving accountant who’s been meticulously climbing the corporate ladder. Her focus on career advancement has been commendable, but she hasn’t paused to question whether this path aligns with her deeper passions and personal values.
Similarly, take Sarah, a successful lawyer who has spent years chasing accolades and financial stability. She’s been so focused on achieving societal benchmarks of success that she’s avoided reflecting on whether her career ambitions are genuinely hers or just responses to external pressures.
Why do we avoid self reflection?
Here are a few reasons:
It’s daunting: Confronting unresolved emotions, past mistakes, or hidden insecurities can be intimidating. We might fear that looking inwards will challenge our self-perception or reveal truths we’re not ready to face.
It feels inefficient: In a culture that values productivity and action, taking time for self-reflection can seem like a luxury we can’t afford. We might question whether doing so is worth the time compared to more immediately productive activities.
It’s overwhelming: Starting the process of self-discovery can feel like an enormous task with no clear direction. We might not know where to begin or how to navigate the complex landscape of our own psyche.
How can you facilitate self reflection and get to know yourself better?
Organise a regular 'personal' retreat: Carve out a dedicated time—whether it's a day, a weekend, or even a few hours each month—specifically for self reflection. Choose a setting that is calming and free from interruptions, such as a secluded spot in nature, a cosy corner in your home, or a quiet cafe. Use this time to engage in activities that promote self-awareness, like journaling, meditating, or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts.
Engage in deep conversations: Reach out to trusted friends, mentors, or a psychologist, for in-depth conversations about your life and choices. Share your thoughts, dreams, and fears, and invite them to offer their perspectives. These dialogues can provide valuable insights and help you see aspects of yourself that you might not have noticed.
Explore creative outlets: Use creative expression as a tool for self discovery. Activities like painting, writing, playing music, or crafting can help you access and articulate your inner thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, the process of creating can reveal deeper truths about who you are and what you truly value.
Start a Self-Discovery Journal: Create a journal specifically for exploring different facets of your identity. Dedicate sections to various themes, such as your core values, significant life experiences, future goals, and emotional triggers. Regularly review and update your journal to track your growth and shifts in perspective over time.
Try new things: Step outside of your comfort zone by exploring new hobbies, activities, or environments. Whether it’s taking a cooking class, travelling to a new place, or learning a new skill, these experiences can challenge your existing beliefs and offer fresh insights into who you are.
Use formal assessments: Invest in tools like Strengths or Values Cards, or even a personality assessment, to help clarify your core attributes and priorities. These methods can provide a structured way to focus your introspection and self-discovery.
Continuously understanding ourselves allows us to design our work and life in a way that truly fits with who we are. Embracing self reflection takes courage, but the rewards are invaluable. So, take that step inward, discover your true self, and unlock the key to doing great work and feeling good!